“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Is this something you hear a lot? Most people think stay-at-home moms are a bank of spare time and energy. After all, all I do all-day is laundry, dishes, special diet needs, physical therapy equipment, and doctor and specialist appointments. I definitely have a truck load of time to spare for other people else, right? Wrong! Stay-at-home moms can learn it”s okay to say no.
That’s the reason busy men and women of today are always stressed – always too scared to say NO. A two-letter word easily said by most stay-at-home moms to their kids and husband. They find it extremely difficult to say to those standing at the front door. No is a liberating answer that is very powerful.
We always feel the urge to help another, even when we can barely keep up with our own responsibilities. We take on more than we can handle when it comes to doing favors for others despite the fact that we already have hectic schedules. This is the time to learn how to say ‘NO!
How many irrelevant things have you done just because you couldn’t say “no”? Most times we say ‘yes’ because we think we can’t refuse the person a favor. The major reason stay-at-home moms should say no is that they have been asked to do things that do not fit into their schedule.
Initially, stay-at-home moms may see it like a very selfish response but they will have taken into cognizance the desires of others if their priorities are set straight. The ones that you will be able to respond to in an appropriate and effective way at the very minimum.
Learning how stay-at-home moms can say no requires for them to know their own capabilities.
Say No – Firmly and Frequently
Yes, stay-at-home moms can learn to say no. You should say it often, why? It is liberating in that it is a way of standing up for yourself. Repeat the following words. “No, I won’t do anything that I don’t have time for in my already hectic day!” and “No, I will not allow you to disrupt my plans for my day.” or “No, I will not…” understand?
Stay-at-home moms create time for themselves when they say no. Get busy if you can’t say it often enough! People often forget that you are not their personal assistant, neither are you their maid, chauffeur, launderer and so on.
Some Tips to say ‘No’
Here is a good way to establish what you can really commit to: Humbly say that you will have to check your calendar and get back to the person. You will be shocked to know how many of these “great” chances are not so great if you don’t make a hasty decision and take time to really think things through.
Another tip stay-at-home moms should consider: You don’t have to take something on just because you think you can squeeze it into your already busy schedule. It is sometimes better to say “no” when the proposed task will drain your time, strength or emotional reserves.
Save your “yes” for the things you can give your all. You will not only be doing yourself a favor, you will also be doing a favor to the person requesting your help. In a situation where everybody assumes stay-at-home moms have all the time in the world to take on their tasks, a simple word like “no” is an effective tool.
Only women say ‘Yes’
This is an area that more men seem to have covered. Men have no problem saying ‘NO’ if they are occupied, whether it’s a business plan, a game or a project. Also, they don’t even care to give any explanation for their answer. Men also say things like, “I am booked at that particular moment.” or “I’ve made other plans” if they manage to give reasons.
You will realize they rarely use the word “sorry” if you pay attention closely. Nobody seems to fault these men for saying ‘No’. It’s simple, they are busy and cannot do it. No problems with that. So what is it with women that make them feel a compulsion to say yes to requests they don’t have time for or ultimately don’t want to do?
That question is too complicated for me to even try to start solving, so we’ll have to just move on. Saying no is an acquired skill and stay-at-home-moms should learn how to use it. It may take some practice but it is definitely worth it. They feel liberated when stay-at-home moms learn it’s okay to say no!
Ways to Say No
1. Use a Planning System –Saying no is an important component of time management success. Make sure your work and personal activities are well planned. This enables you to say, “Let me check my daily planner.” Then smartly reply, “Yes I already have plans at that particular time or day, etc”.
Stay-at-home-moms shouldn’t feel like they owe the person any explanations. A simple “I am occupied” will do. Personal time is valuable. Setting time apart for your self is as important as time for a doctor’s appointment.
It may be harder for stay-at-home moms to say it to family and friends because they may want to ask questions like. “What will you be doing? What’s is your reason you won’t?” What is the reason that you say you can’t do it? “Why won’t you come?” Do not change your answer. Simply say, “I am sorry I can’t at that particular moment.
Maybe some other time.” You should not feel pressure to give details of your schedule except what you want to. Although it may be helpful to be honest and say things such as, “I’m really busy with work and I don’t have any time. Maybe some other time.”
2. Postpone Your Reply. It is easier to say, ‘I’ll think about it and let you know’, then you say ‘No’ later. Allow your decisions to be yours and not someone else’s. This allows you time to check your priorities and see if the request can fit in. Sometimes stay-at-home moms need to say ‘No’ to tempting opportunities as well.
Here’s a scenario. I was once invited to a free ski day as an appreciation gift and I would have loved to ski. The offer was passed and I said ‘No’ because I had a presentation the following day. That was because I felt skiing would take up time for one my major priorities – my speaking career. Stay-at-home moms can learn it’s okay to say no and feel empowered.